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A lot of people say I look David Beckham. I really don't know why, maybe it's my ripped core or my luscious head of hair, but I cannot begin to tell you just how many times I've been mistaken for the former Manchester United star.
Obviously, I kid, because as a 62-year-old shift supervisor at Bob's Discount Furniture, there's really not much I have in common with the longtime spouse of a Spice Girl. However, it's pretty undeniable that I'm a huge fan. I mean, his glory days on MU, and even some of his later years on Real Madrid and the Los Angeles Galaxy, are certainly some of the best memories I've had as a soccer fan.
While I am a man in my early 60s, I do, at times, like to pretend I'm David Beckham. I mean, he's just so friggen cool and such a lady's man that a recent divorcee like myself can't help but to be envious.
As a joke, a few of my friends (and my ex wife), bought me some David Beckham gifts to poke fun at my man-crush. But let's just say the joke is on them, because I absolutely LOVE all of them. I decided to rank some of the best gifts for David Beckham fans like myself, so that other big time fans can get in on the Beckham-sanity.
A David Beckham Poster
Let's start with this cool, custom-made David Beckham poster from Graphics 17. Unlike some of the generic posters you'll see at Spencer's Gifts or Target, you can tell this one is made with great care and dedication. They're actually even made to order—and it typically only takes around one day to create. It's definitely a pretty cool poster for my living room to say the least.
David Beckham Cologne
I wasn't sure if this gift was a dig (I've been told I smell like a truck driver that hasn't showered in a week), but I'm still happy with it nonetheless. While I did get it as a birthday gift, I decided to look its price up on Amazon, and was shocked to see that it cost under $20! It smells like a cologne that would run you a pretty penny, so if you're in the market for a new scent, this might be your best bet.
A Biography of David Beckham
I've recently started doing a lot more reading (more reading=smarter Brett), so how can I not read the ultimate biography on my favorite soccer player? I've read one on Cristiano Ronaldo in the past, but Ronaldo just doesn't stack up to the legendary DB. The book was also a very easy read, and I highly recommend it to other Beckham-heads out there.
David Beckham Toiletries
Ok I'm REALLY starting to think that I'm one smelly Tortorello after another friend picked me up this David Beckham Instinct gift set. This set includes Eau De Toilette Spray, as well as hair and body wash, so you'll be feeling nice and fresh after breaking open this bad boy. Trust me, I know from experience.
An Autobiography of David Beckham
At this point, I'm basically in a David Beckham book club. Except, I actually didn't get this one as a gift—I got it a few years back at a book fair. What I liked about Both Feet on the Ground was the fact that it was a firsthand autobiography from the man, the myth, the legend himself. Reading the aforementioned biography was a nice supplement to this book, so I highly recommend reading both if you want a real comprehensive understanding of England's most popular footballer.
David Beckham Signed Mounted Photo
I don't even have a picture of my own kids in my new bachelor pad, but I DO have this great picture of David Beckham hanging up. Look, it's nothing against them, but I'm a huge Manchester United fan, so I can't just not have this picture hanging up in the dining room. While the signature is just a replica, it, at one point, was actually David Beckham's (many prints ago), which is probably the closest I'll ever get to acquiring it.
Men's Genuine Lambskin Leather Biker Jacket Inspired by David Beckham
There truly is nothing that says "cool guy" like a sick leather jacket. I'm thinking of opening my own restaurant some day, so in order to impress my clients, I think getting a leather jacket is step one in the pyramid of success. This genuine lambskin leather biker jacket is inspired by David Beckham himself, making it a must-have for any fans of the former Real Madrid star.
David Beckham Manchester United Home RetroSoccer Jersey
How can I not compile a list like this without including the most iconic jersey David Beckham ever donned? While Beckham played for a variety of football clubs; like Real Madrid, the Los Angeles Galaxy, and Paris Saint Germain; there's no doubting that his best years came with Manchester United. It's what catapulted him into stardom in England, and even more so around the world. This red home jersey from 1998—AKA his prime—is certain to bring back great memories for Beckham fans everywhere, not to mention serve a tribute to one of, if not the greatest Manchester United players of all time.
Original Portrait of David Beckham Tank
I've recently been hitting the gym, and my arms are absolutely gigantic. While I might be over 25 percent body fat, it doesn't take away from the fact that my arms are probably close to 20 inches. This David Beckham tank definitely gives me, and everyone else I'm with, premium access to the Gun Show. What better way to show off of my gigantic arms than with a tank of one of the greatest England players of all-time? That's a trick question—there IS no better way.
Bend It Like Beckham
Ok this might not actually be THAT David Beckham-related, but I mean, he did make an uncredited appearance in the film with his wife Victoria (aka Posh Spice). If you haven't seen it, the film follows the story of Jess Bhamra, the daughter of a conservative Indian couple, who will not allow her to play soccer. Eventually, after getting convinced by her friend Jules, she begins playing it on a semi-pro basis in secrecy. All in all, it's an absolutely wonderful film, and certainly one of the best gifts for David Beckham fans out there. I just pray for the day David Beckham returns to the MLS... A Tortorello can dream, right?